


Just Like Normal

by tsuristyle



Category: SMAP
Genre: Kissing, M/M, Tsuyoshi's incident, eel bentos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-13 10:00:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9118717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsuristyle/pseuds/tsuristyle
Summary: The silence of their dressing room makes him feel disconnected, likehe'sthe one being punished again. But it's only two more weeks; he's waited six months before, so he can wait a little longer.(Goro visits Tsuyoshi four times during his break, because he can't stand waiting either. Written December 2014.)





	

The first time Goro goes over, Tsuyoshi is all smiles and false energy, pushing himself to clean and exercise and read the books Nakai sent him as if it'll suddenly transform him into a mature, responsible adult. He repeats over and over that he's never going to drink again, that he's going to find himself, whatever that means, and he'll come back a new man. Goro listens bemusedly as he eats his bento and asks Tsuyoshi if he wants eel next week, too.  
  
He knows that it's not that easy; that it will get worse, much worse before the month is up.  
  
The second time, Tsuyoshi is seemingly normal, content to exercise every other day and put off cleaning until the last possible second and not finish every conversation with _I'm sorry, Goro-san_. They laze on the couch and watch Shingo watch the guest eat on SmaStation, and make plans to go see their bandmate's movie when it comes out. Tsuyoshi will be back by then, after all; everything will go right back to normal, and it'll be just like nothing happened in the first place.  
  
It's a lie, of course, but they know that already. It doesn't keep them both from wishing it were true.  
  
The third time, Tsuyoshi doesn't answer the door until Goro calls his cell phone. Goro-san, he says, and his face is drawn, eyes rimmed with red. He's clutching his phone, staring at the screen in the dark. You guys don't want me back, do you?  
  
Goro takes the phone, gently; the recent calls are filled with _Kimura Takuya_ , line after line, all going out and none coming in. He closes it, so it's just them standing in the dark of the entranceway, and hugs his bandmate tightly. We're waiting for you, he says, because those are the words that kept him going, years ago, and he knows they're true.  
  
What he wants to say is _I'm waiting for you_ , because the silence of their dressing room makes him feel disconnected, like _he's_ the one being punished again. But it's only two more weeks; he's waited six months before, so he can wait a little longer.  
  
The fourth time is a week before Tsuyoshi's break is up. The younger man is full of nervous energy again, puttering about distractedly until Goro tells him to sit down and eat; when they finish, he leans back on the couch and flips the channels indecisively and thanks Goro for coming over, Goro really is such a nice person and they really should do this more often, shouldn't they?  
  
Goro puts his hand on Tsuyoshi's to stop him from cycling through the channels again. He doesn't think he's such a nice person at all.  
  
Don't thank me, he says, and when he looks back Tsuyoshi is watching him, energy suddenly still and focused. Why not?  
  
Because I'm not here just for you, Goro says. Tsuyoshi keeps looking at him, the remote slipping from his hand. Oh, he replies quietly, as if it makes perfect sense, and then they're both leaning in, meeting halfway, and maybe it _does_ make perfect sense. They kiss lightly, slowly, fingers tangling together on the couch cushion between them; Goro shifts closer until their knees brush and rests his other hand on Tsuyoshi's shoulder and thinks distantly that there's no way things can go back to normal after this, not anymore.  
  
Tsuyoshi breaks away for a moment, cheeks growing pink as he smiles at Goro. Goro-chan, he says warmly, giving his hand a squeeze. I think you should spend the night. You have to get up early, right?  
  
Then again, maybe he doesn't _want_ things to go back to normal, after all. Goro smiles back at his bandmate, finally feeling connected again, maybe even more than he had before. As long as you make breakfast tomorrow, he says, and leans in to kiss Tsuyoshi again.


End file.
